DRAB ~ In Guy Mode
I was reading a personal website today, of a CD. She/he spoke how bad he felt, when she went back to DRAB. This is a pet peeve of mine, one that is so important for a new CD to learn and be aware of. I feel a TG is the most happy and healthy– when there are not two polarities, but instead a blending of male and female.
Often, a young CD will not take any time, energy, or spend any money on their guy self. Obviously, when they spend all their money and extra time on girls clothing…they will only feel better about being en femme. Now, hold on….I “get” the importance of dressing and how it helps you feel. However, for the young CD it is so important they also take pride in they guy mode appearance. Get great hair cuts, great dress shirts and pants (ask for help at the store) and a fabulous suit, and to create a skin care that helps your guy mode and to work on having a confident gait and nice voice.
I have found, the CD’s who take care of their male appearance, make better looking women and they are much happier, well balanced, and create a more caring home life and relationship with their SO. Not caring about your guy mode, wearing sweat pants etc..only creates the need to dress…to escape feeling bad about how you look as a man. I have seen a client in guy mode, look as if they just got out of bed…threw on some sweatpants….and arrived. Yet, in girl mode they have spent three hours doing their hair and nails.
Please realize all work you do you yourself will only create a better you. I recently worked with a genetic male, who I was shopping for his business suits. He wanted skincare products, and he watches his weight and goes to the gym. I was thinking to myself, how great he would look dressed…because he took pride in his male self.
In addition, I feel one whole person, makes for a healthier CD. Taking pride in your male appearance, (going to the dentist, getting a good skin care line that would work in male mode (these are actually better for a CD than skin care lines made for women), getting a good haircut, caring about being around other men, talking to other men, taking pride in your gait and voice, having a happy fun personality….are essential for being a balanced CD. Being a woman takes a lot of time and work, but so does being a man. If you can work on your guy mode, much of the time and money will also flow over into your feminine presentation. Please realize…a polaity does not make for a happy TG.
Denae
Jennifer
November 26, 2007 @ 9:30 pmDanae,
You make excellent points in this posting. In our TSK Chapter of Tri-Ess we have several events each year where we focus on our SOs and are in guy mode. But, we don’t refer to these as “DRAB” events or being in DRAB. DRAB is, well drab. So, one of gals, Jeanine Williams came up with the term DREAM - DRessed as an Extremely Attractive Man. That is your point. Be attractive whether your in female mode or male mode.
I think another point you make by your comments is that dressing as a woman doesn’t cure any fundamental problems you have as a man. It may be an escape but it is only temporary. One needs to be a whole person both male and female.
Hi Jennifer, thank you for your wonderful insight! I feel, this helps many new, often confused tg’s who feel…in the beginning….it has to be an extreme….male or female. Blending, and keeping your day job…is great advice!
Hugs,
Denae
Renee
November 28, 2007 @ 9:50 pmDenae, you are so right about the blending of the male and the female sides of your personality.
I think that the one side nurtures and learns from the other side, therefore creating the ultimate persona. I know that in my case, I have become so much more confident in my daily life, both work and personal and I have been granted the opportunity to view life through a different pair of glasses, so to speak. Realizing what the feminine side has to offer, has allowed me to be more productive, caring and focused on personal needs as well as others needs.
In my case, I started out trying to use products that made my skin smoother, cleaner and healthier. This was brought on by my dressing and the need to look more feminine. What happened, though is that the male side of things looks more well groomed as well. In my business,(giving motivativational speaches), you have to look better then the next guy or girl because you are selling yourself as well as the product line.
Skin care has become a very important part of my daily regiment and people do notice, so the hard work pays off.
I believe that you have to take care of the guy image and skin and it will help you immensly when it comes to the female side of things as well. Hope this makes sense to you.
Renee