Self Acceptance of TS Women
I had a client today, email me regarding the importance of TS women accepting themselves. That SRS is very important for many of them….while “passing” and looking good….is important for others–while facial surgery is important for some–the fact is: I have seen many beautiful post op ts women, who still lack confidence and have never been able to accept the fact that they are TS and they have to tell others about their secret….”I am ts”.
I have worked with many genetic women who also can’t accept themselves. This seems to be a human issue…one many therapists are not working on. Surgery does not “fix” GID and one lives happily ever after. So, I think to myself…what makes a tg person happy. It certainly isn’t always surgery, or clothes. Instead, it is a daily re-affirmation of love and acceptance.
Today, I have a TS girl coming in –who is 15 years post op and thinks she doesn’t pass. She looks great, 5’6″ a size 10, and a full head of hair. Why is she coming to see me, I ask myself? Because she needs affirmation, she is okay. She needs self acceptance of who she is– as this is a daily activity for all TS women. Surgery does not “fix” gender issues if you did not accept or like yourself before transition. Not much different than a Miss SF Fittness genetic girl model I worked with for the past 3 months. I supose we’re all human here and we have to deal with what we “think” and feel about ourselves–how we look or whether you pass or not… for the rest of our lives. As a Don Henley’s song goes….”It’s An Inside Job”.
Denae
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It seems to me that all who occupy the various points on the TG spectrum seek acceptance, affirmation, and validation from others … especially if we, ourselves, have trouble personally achieving it. I think it’s why we want pictures (we can’t see the whole image), we want others to perceive as women, and feel that passing achieves that second party validation.
I like what you say about that fact that those outward things do not “fix” the gender issues. They help us (maybe) with others. But if we can’t believe in the feminine nature of our own souls, we certainly can’t get others to buy into that concept either.
Thanks! The title says it all. We need to accept ourselves before we can hope to be accepted by others.
Datti
1 Datti Kapella said this (November 19, 2007 at 6:44 pm)