DRAB ~ In Guy Mode
I was reading a personal website today, of a CD. She/he spoke how bad he felt, when she went back to DRAB. This is a pet peeve of mine, one that is so important for a new CD to learn and be aware of. I feel a TG is the most happy and healthy– when there are not two polarities, but instead a blending of male and female.
Often, a young CD will not take any time, energy, or spend any money on their guy self. Obviously, when they spend all their money and extra time on girls clothing…they will only feel better about being en femme. Now, hold on….I “get” the importance of dressing and how it helps you feel. However, for the young CD it is so important they also take pride in they guy mode appearance. Get great hair cuts, great dress shirts and pants (ask for help at the store) and a fabulous suit, and to create a skin care that helps your guy mode and to work on having a confident gait and nice voice.
I have found, the CD’s who take care of their male appearance, make better looking women and they are much happier, well balanced, and create a more caring home life and relationship with their SO. Not caring about your guy mode, wearing sweat pants etc..only creates the need to dress…to escape feeling bad about how you look as a man. I have seen a client in guy mode, look as if they just got out of bed…threw on some sweatpants….and arrived. Yet, in girl mode they have spent three hours doing their hair and nails.
Please realize all work you do you yourself will only create a better you. I recently worked with a genetic male, who I was shopping for his business suits. He wanted skincare products, and he watches his weight and goes to the gym. I was thinking to myself, how great he would look dressed…because he took pride in his male self.
In addition, I feel one whole person, makes for a healthier CD. Taking pride in your male appearance, (going to the dentist, getting a good skin care line that would work in male mode (these are actually better for a CD than skin care lines made for women), getting a good haircut, caring about being around other men, talking to other men, taking pride in your gait and voice, having a happy fun personality….are essential for being a balanced CD. Being a woman takes a lot of time and work, but so does being a man. If you can work on your guy mode, much of the time and money will also flow over into your feminine presentation. Please realize…a polaity does not make for a happy TG.
Denae
TG Acceptance Day/ On You Tube
UTube Video below to view.
I have had several of my clients, send me this:
UTube Video link below… regarding TG Deaths. It is very sad, but I thought I would show it to you, as I am always telling my girls to “BE CAREFUL” out there. So, take a look…as it is insightful.
Many TG woman want to pass, but seldom list “safety” for a reason to pass or blend in as a woman. I really want you girls to think about the importance of safety and to stay away from people, or places where you might be harmed. Stay in groups, and don’t be out alone at night. This is the same advice you would give your wife or your teenage daughter or sister, right? Often, as men…you go out and you’re not afraid. But, when you have womens clothing on, you now enter into a womans world of sex crimes or hate crimes.
If you have comments, I will post them.
Click below to view.
Denae
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DX7j8ZUtHks
Hello Tri Ess Girls
It is wonderful to hear from all of you, and thank you for a wonderful time. Tootsye thank you for helping me navigate my way through those mile-long hallways. My toes stilll have blisters on them. I know all of you had a wonderful time at the Sat night dinner….and I heard many of you were out in Las Vegas until 4:00 am! There must have been some tired girls on Sunday when it was time to return home.
But, seriously, it was great to speak at my frist Tri-Ess. I want to thank Datti and Renee and both their SO’s for such a great convention this year. Okay, ladies…I have given you a LOT of new information, so practice and as I said…if you’re going to do it, do it right!
Happy Turkey Day…..From Santa Cruz, Denae
Tri Ess Convention in Las Vegas Was A Blast
I’m Back! I spoke at theTri Ess National Convention in Las Vegas. It was my first Tri Ess. For any CD’s out there who are in the closet or if you have a SO that does not understand, this is a must organization for you. Your SO’s need understanding and support, and this is a great place for them. They will have other genetic female spouses to talk with, and share any fears about your dressing. The conventions are fun, and educational for the tg. Not having doctors wanting everyone to spend $50,000 on facial surgery was so re-freshing. Goggle for the Tri Ess chapter close to you, and get the help and support you need. And, attend their next large convention…they select a fun city each year. So, put it on your calender so you have the time reserved.
Wow, there were some great outfits at the Sat dinner. As photos come in, I will be posting them.
Denae
Non Pierced Hoop Earring
I had a CD client today, tell me about a wonderful earring web site for women which offers all types of great earrings. And, for the CD who does not have pierced ears…. they also have all shapes of earrings that looks pierced.
Prices are high to low, both gold and silver. Holiday to casual. They also have clip on.
Check out cliptomania.com if you are interested in the hoop that looks pierced! Thanks Jane
Denae
Reply to Jasine RegardingWigs I Prefer
Hello Jasmine.
Thank you for your question, asking what type of wig I suggest you wear….and you liked the wig I put on at Cal Dreamin. Please ONLY go to a wig salon, (not wig store) and do not purchase a wig off the internet…as no one wants to cut or color a wig they did not sell. When ordered off the internet, you’re stuck with what arrives, and you then have no one to help you trim and thin out the top. Therefore, it is worth the extra money you will have to pay on the front end, to go into a wig salon and have them make a wig for you, and have them custom color and cut the wig.
The wig I purchased was from Hanson Fontana in SF. Please tell them, it is the wig Denae wore as I have named this wig the “Meg Ryan” wig as I had them put in custom dark roots which looks really hot. Then, I had them pull through some highlights of gold and ash. You can google them, or I have them listed on TG Resources on the FemImage web site. Again, tell them you Denae sent you, this will que them you are TG and let them know to have some of the wigs ready for you….that I have chosen for my private clients.
If you have any questions about color, please email me a femme facial photo in your current wig so I can see you skin color, and I will email you back suggestions on which base color to order and what highlight colors to order. They are excellent helping you with a cut….(I prefer for TG’s a straight style, that is tapered in at the cheek, the jaw and the neck, on the sides like Jennifer Aniston as it covers a larger jaw line and or neck). Again, tell them the type of cut Denae puts on her TG women with the Meg Ryan natural human hair wig with dark roots. Jasmine, I hope this answers your questions and you will be pleased you purchased a “high quality” wig as it is the one accessory you will wear EVERY time you go out dressed. Also, if you have some thin hair, you can order a partial and pull your hair through. I have one and love it, it gives you “big hair”. Smiles………….
Denae
Tri Ess in Las Vegas Nov 15th to 18th 2007
I have begun getting ready for my first Tri Ess speaking engagement. The national meeting is this weekend in Las Vegas and lots of girls are arriving from many different states. And, their spouses are welcome. I am gearing my seminar more towards dressing tips, as I have learned so many tricks of the trade in the past 8 years. If you are attending, please do come up and introduce yourself to me. All the Tri Ess information is on my front page at femimage.com
I will give you a glowing report of how it went, and hopefully return with some photos. Oh yes, I am looking for photos for my “Photos and Events” page on femimage and if I have worked with you, I would love to post your photo. Of course, you have to be okay with your face being shown to about 20,000 per week as I do not want to “out” anyone. I am also looking for students to film in my upcoming makeup dvd, if interested please contact me.
Las Vegas, Here We Come !
Denae
The Friday Night RGA Meeting & Questions The Girls Had
Friday night I spoke at RGA in San Jose CA. Many girls were asking about certain beauty products that would be best for their skin. And, they asked me to explain the difference in real human hair wigs V synthetic wigs.
For skincare..and for the beginner, I really like Loreal cleaner, toner and mositurizer for basic skincare. For great foundation coverage, I like Color Stay by Revlon…as it is “thicker” for beard coverage. If you prefer to purchase your products from a retail store, then I suggest Lancome. They have great sales-persons who have been trained. There is always a light/liquid foundation for oily skin/sensitive, a cream foundation for dry skin or for “heavier tg coverage”. I will discuss how to select the right color of foundation in my next blog.
On wigs, I prefer human hair wigs…as they don’t have the shinny look of rayon that synthetic wigs have. Also, purchase your wig from a wig salon not a wig store…as a salon must be certified –to cut and color wigs. Every wig, 100% if the time…has to be thinned out on the top crown, and needs to have some of the heavy hair thinned out. Wigs come with extra hair, so you can then cut and style it, to your face shape. And, you must cut in some layers. Look for a wig salon in your area, and call for a private consultation on style/color and cost. They will cost more, but they offer custom colors and cuts. For the new TG woman, you must save your money, and put your savings into a good quality wig. If you are TS and you’re trying to wear your own hair, and it is to thin, go to a wig salon and have a “partial” made, as they leave “holes” in the cap so you can pull any of your own hair through the holes…and blend your own hair at the bottom and sides into the partials longer sides and bottom back. I seldom see TS women who can wear their own hair…without some partial. One TS at RGA had recently had hair transplants, to create a feminine hair line. It looked really great. There are very few full time TS women, that take the time to find the right hair solution for their thinner hair. This is the # 1 mistake I see. If you have your own full hair, you are very lucky so style it in a great look that is much like other womens style, where you work.
Find a great hair stylist in your town, that will teach you how to style your hair/wig. Schedule in an extra 30 mins with her, and tell her you are paying for the extra time….for her to teach you how to do your own styling. This is a simple easy way to learn, but you must pay someone if you want them to take time out of their scheule. If there is a great wig salon in one of the larger cities near you, it is worth saving up for. It is the one accessory you will wear everytime you walk out the door!!
I would love to hear from some of you, if you would like to write, I will post your comments.
Denae
How To Appear More Feminine, With Feelings
Hello Ladies,
How you think, or should I say, NOT THINK will help you appear more feminine. I recently worked with a client, who I had seen before. She had done an excellent job reviewing my dvd’s and practicing her moves. She had also began working on the software program, for creating a more feminine voice..which registers pitch, resonance, inflection. However, when we did some outside coaching….she walked into a Cinular Wireless store, and was demanding when– we were asked to sign in first and wait. Her male side took charge and pushed “his” her way up to the front of the line– and in guy mode….began to take control, be in charge and by using male terms (not saying “May I”)pushed to the front counter to get an adapter–as if others were not important. There were two women standing behind us, who lost their turn.
In simple words, we were taking care of a “to do task”. We were not shopping for clothing or makeup and playing “girl goes shopping”. Instead, we were taking care of a chore she needed done– that sent her right out of feminine posture and feminine voice…and right into guy mode. However, this could have been an opportuity for her to learn, (outside of a clothing, makeup or wig store) how to experience communicating as a woman, in a real life situation so see how the other gender handles these situations. And, maybe it is as simple as being more polite than men are. Women tend to be more polite, and say– May I or Could I. Right? Do you want to be a woman, but take it back when you want to be demanding and get what you want when you want it? Maybe, this could be an opportunity, to step back, relax and not feel the pressure of being demanding. Perhaps, we could have enjoyed waiting, and spending the time ….as two women talking and sharing. Or, perhaps being “clocked” is only important in certain situations that one determines when it is important if they are clocked or not? This was a missed opportunity, for her so see how living as a woman in the real world, requires a different way of commicating with a sales person to get something exchanged. I don’t feel, a tg has the luxury of determining when they can decide to turn it on or off. You can’t have it both ways. If you want to live in a womans world, and you have worn womens clothing into a public mall…..then you don’t have the “option” of saying I didn’t want to use my feminine voice or movement. That is being a man–not a woman.
I went away from this situation, realizing many ts or serious CD women, often still think as a man and tackle the world as a man.
This way of communicating like a man, willl certainly give off the impression…this is a man. The words you use, and the tone you use them. Even, the controlling body language.
I encourage all of you, to put yourself in real life situations. Not just buying clothes, but perhaps exchanging something or dealing with someone over a bill, etc. You may find your female communication skills are not yet developed–as you have previously placed yoursef in ultra feminine places, or even just tg groups or clubs.
So, don’t think and don’t stay up in your head. Women feel, the process. Men think, for the final goal or outcome.
Get out of your head, Feel your way into how a woman handles difficult situations by being kinder and even more submissive. Not losing your feminne voice and not losing your feminine body language…in a business transaction…is the real test of how well you have practiced. Often, girls who are still “thinking” are not yet in their bodies and they can’t feel/move/speak/gesture/like a woman. A bull in a china shop, will certainly get you “clocked as male”.
Something to reflect upon.
Self Acceptance of TS Women
I had a client today, email me regarding the importance of TS women accepting themselves. That SRS is very important for many of them….while “passing” and looking good….is important for others–while facial surgery is important for some–the fact is: I have seen many beautiful post op ts women, who still lack confidence and have never been able to accept the fact that they are TS and they have to tell others about their secret….”I am ts”.
I have worked with many genetic women who also can’t accept themselves. This seems to be a human issue…one many therapists are not working on. Surgery does not “fix” GID and one lives happily ever after. So, I think to myself…what makes a tg person happy. It certainly isn’t always surgery, or clothes. Instead, it is a daily re-affirmation of love and acceptance.
Today, I have a TS girl coming in –who is 15 years post op and thinks she doesn’t pass. She looks great, 5′6″ a size 10, and a full head of hair. Why is she coming to see me, I ask myself? Because she needs affirmation, she is okay. She needs self acceptance of who she is– as this is a daily activity for all TS women. Surgery does not “fix” gender issues if you did not accept or like yourself before transition. Not much different than a Miss SF Fittness genetic girl model I worked with for the past 3 months. I supose we’re all human here and we have to deal with what we “think” and feel about ourselves–how we look or whether you pass or not… for the rest of our lives. As a Don Henley’s song goes….”It’s An Inside Job”.
Denae
Denae is founder of Femimage 
