Denae Doyle’s Thoughts on Feminine Image

Don’t Think About HOW To, Feel Like A Woman

Hello Ladies,

How you think, or should I say, NOT THINK will help you appear more feminine. I recently worked with a client, who I had seen before. She had done an excellent job reviewing my dvd’s and practicing her moves. She had also began working on the software program, for creating a more feminine voice..which registers pitch, resonance, inflection. However, when we did some outside coaching….she walked into a Cinular Wireless store, and was demanding when– we were asked to sign in first and wait. Her male side took charge and pushed “his” her way up to the front of the line– and in guy mode….began to take control, be in charge and by using male terms (not saying “May I”)pushed to the front counter to get an adapter–as if others were not important. There were two women standing behind us, who lost their turn.

 In simple words, we were taking care of a “to do task”. We were not shopping for clothing or makeup and playing “girl goes shopping”.  Instead, we were taking care of a chore she needed done– that sent her right out of feminine posture and feminine voice…and right into guy mode. However, this could have been an opportuity for her to learn, (outside of a clothing, makeup or wig store) how to experience communicating as a woman, in a real life situation so see how the other gender handles these situations. And, maybe it is as simple as being more polite than men are. Women tend to be more polite, and say– May I or Could I.  Right?  Do you want to be a woman, but take it back when you want to be demanding and get what you want when you want it? Maybe, this could be an opportunity, to step back, relax and not feel the pressure of being demanding. Perhaps, we could have enjoyed waiting, and spending the time ….as two women talking and sharing. Or, perhaps being “clocked” is only important in certain situations that one determines when it is important if they are clocked or not? This was a missed opportunity, for her so see how living as a woman in the real world, requires a different way of commicating with a sales person to get something exchanged. I don’t feel, a tg has the luxury of determining when they can decide to turn it on or off. You can’t have it both ways. If you want to live in a womans world, and you have worn womens clothing into a public mall…..then you don’t have the “option” of saying I didn’t want to use my feminine voice or movement. That is being a man–not a woman.

I went away from this situation, realizing many ts or serious CD women, often still think as a man and tackle the world as a man.
This way of communicating like a man, willl certainly give off the impression…this is a man. The words you use, and the tone you use them. Even, the controlling body language.

I encourage all of you, to put yourself in real life situations. Not just buying clothes, but perhaps exchanging something or dealing with someone over a bill, etc. You may find your female communication skills are not yet developed–as you have  previously placed yoursef in ultra feminine places, or even just tg groups or clubs. 

  So, don’t think and don’t stay up in your head. Women feel, the process. Men think, for the final goal or outcome.  
Get out of your head, Feel your way into how a woman handles difficult situations by being kinder and even more submissive. Not losing your feminne voice and not losing your feminine body language…in a business transaction…is the real test of how well you have practiced. Often, girls who are still “thinking” are not yet in their bodies and they can’t feel/move/speak/gesture/like a woman.  A bull in a china shop, will certainly get you “clocked as male”. 

Something to reflect upon.

Denae

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