Denae Doyle’s Thoughts on Feminine Image

I was born and raised to be a “Texas Lady” which reminds me of the look many Texas women have, like Anna Nicole. In Texas, we were taught to wear makeup, jewelry and to “fix up”. Certainly, times have changed, but the common tread still runs through the heart of many Texas women to dress up, to “fix up”. Because women today have careers and are supporting their children, and/are busy, with careers and family, many are caught in the trap, they simply don’t have the time it requires to dress like a ultra feminine woman.  However, I personally have found the importance of  also creating a ultra feminine casual look in addition to my feminine career wardrobe. I always felt, I had to dress from heel to toe, when I would go out. I can relate to what many TG women go through–that is loving the ultra feminine look of over dressing but not always understanding the person or the motives.. the attention brings to you.  For my TG women, the attention gets them “clocked. For the genetic girl, we get put in the sex catagory.

 I discovered I had no casual clothing,  as I was living inside the walls of modeling schools and beautiful women who we hired for some teaching, or as our fashion photographers, and of course the female running our front desk. I lost touch with reality, with how “other” women were looking. Often when I would leave the agency, and stop at the local market–people would give me that double look. They would ask me, if I were going out to dinner or if I had just come from a wedding. When I looked at my wardrobe, I discovered everything was extremely high fashion, sensual, or fad. When, I would go out to a simple movie, or for a casual day of shopping, I did not have a wardrobe that I felt was put together, coordinated, and I felt limited in where I could go. I simply had not discovered the importance of looking put together and beautiful, with casual clothing,jewelry, heels, makeup and nails.  

 Oh, You Great Big Beautiful Doll!  But, who can maintain that look? Enter, the TG woman. I have realized she has also gotten trapped into the same delusion. All dressed up and no place to go!  Being to dressed up, (with bold colors, flashy jewelry or sexy hose, heels or  flashy dress or blouses)…can cause others to “clock” you. On the opposite–you don’t want–the thrown together sweats and no makeup. My point to this diatribe is one which I hope the new serious TG woman will take. Create 2 or 3 looks which are put together, beautiful, sophisticated, with accessories for casual, for career and for dinning out, or clubs.  Find a way to feel beautiful with the first two looks without all the excessive ultra feminine clothing. Hard to do? Yes, I had to learn– to go one day– without wearing false eyelashes. So, I had to break my habit, my delusion, that I was not pretty unless I was ultra feminine or with my job in the fashion field…ultra fashionable. Here is what I did.

My Solution was to create my work wardrobe (which I already had) my casual wardrobe, and my fun/sexy/club wardrobe? I began shopping for work clothing, night time club clothing, and every day clothing which I could pull from each group. To my shock, I needed to stop buying over the top suits and dresses and put as much time, effort and expense into fabulous pieces I could wear with jeans or a casual skirt or pair of pants.  First, I needed to add in great fitting jeans,and I spent the time and money to have them tailored to my body… and pressed. I added in very nice sweaters in beautiful pinks, melons, teals. I added in some colorful primary color casual summer pants (no dry cleaning) and I added primary color camp shirts. I switched from “blue” jeans to other colors of jeans… such as white, light pink, gray, wheat, and black. And, I toned down my jewelry, and I did begin to add in fun,  bright colorful leather handbags with a matching colored belt. With my cotton “camp shirt” I left them open and wore a colored stretch tank top or shell, under my tops so I can leave them un-bottomed and open and add some fun jewelry. I also added in some warm longer knee length sweaters to wear with the jeans. (Take off the sweater belt and loops and add in a leather colorful belt). When I realized I only needed  to begin purchasing more simple colors, in purses, belts, and to add in colors in stretch shells– as they allow you to wear a lot of sexy sweaters and open shirts without over exposing. And, the touch of color in the stretch tank top, was so easy to match with belts and purses. It took buying more separates, and having pants, jeans, and skirts in basic primary colors. And, adding in all the fun with accessories. First step, is to get fit with an expensive pair of jeans, and have them altered to fit your body like a glove. I also added in a colorful pair of prescription reading glasses, if I needed to pull them out of my new red leather hand-bag.

Now, my high heels were a large part of my over dressed problem, but honestly I have worn heels since I first began to model at the age of 16 yrs old. I just could not feel as good, in flats. So, I compromised for casual… and found a two inch wedge. And, they are so much more comfortable. With creating this causal, yet put together look, I am more comfortable going places that I would have avoided when alone in high heels.  Discover what your accent colors are. I use Carole Jackson’s “Color Me Beautiful” and she has fabric samples you can carry in your purse. Get beautiful colored sweaters, long sweaters, oblong scarves to wear outside your coat or sweater, and your shoes or boots must be comfortable, wide enough, and low enough heel to look sensual but not over done. I wear a Wide in my shoes, as most women’s shoes, hurt. Or, be sure and get an open toe, or a sling back. And, cardigan vest…are wonderful to cover a tummy.Shawls in bold colors, are wonderful for cool evenings in the summer, and you can drape them around your neck with jeans. If you can find a beret, or colored cap to go with your colored jeans, the cap is a favorite for many women on a bad hair day, or when you want to ”clip on” a pony tail through the hole in the back of the cap…. and create a really casual look.  

 I hope my comparison of “over dressing” from running modeling schools, and your  experience of “over dressing” from  starting out only wearing sexy club clothing…will help you put together a coordinated casual, jean look with accented colored belts and purses, which will free you to go into places during the day….without those looks. Do I Pass? Going out during the day, looking beautiful…yet blending in is a large part of passing.

All my best,

Denae