Welcome to my blog
Hi Ladies and welcome to my blog. I started this blog as a way for me to help you develop a more feminine image as well as to answer any questions you might have. Click on feedback to read others comments
I am often asked, what the most common mistakes the serious TG woman makes –that give her away. This is an excellent topic to discuss, and I could give you several answers that would take hours ! So, I will start with one of the most common mistakes (which is easily corrected) I see a new TG woman stumble upon that will say, “Guy In A Dress”.
Of course, much of this depends on how often the girl goes out, and if she plans on a transition. Let’s assume, she is serious and goes out during the day–not just at night to a club. In my experience training hundreds of TGwomen, I have realized that 90% of serious TG women do not understand how to select a better wig or hair partial –that is made for her face, lifestyle and color of skin and eyes. I have found, a quality, more expensive wig– is the ONE accessory you will wear every time you go out and it is best to save for this purchase. Then, you can go into a wig salon and try on many wigs and
have help in selecting a quality wig colored and cut for you.
Most wigs are rayon and are very thick at the top crown, a dead give away. I suggest you put a quality wig in your one year, three year buying plan. And, find a quality wig salon (not wig shop or internet wig) that will offer you excellent aftercare with cleaning and styling, that can UPS your clean and styled wig back to you within 48 hours.
Now, you have heard from me, I would like to hear what many of you feel, is your most difficult obstacle. I will continue with other ideas.
Denae
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elaine
November 15, 2006 @ 11:29 pmHi Denae!
I think that you having a blog is such a great idea. I have so many questions on how to be more feminine and hope you can give me some answers.
bout wigs, I was wondering if I should buy a wig that is a blend of human hair and synthetic or should I go all out and just get a wig that is all human hair? I am not transitioning but do go out “en femme” a lot during the day.
thanks again - Elaine
Vickie
November 19, 2006 @ 4:39 amI think you are right about the wig. I loved my cheep one, but my friends thought my natural hair, even though a bit fine in texture and probably a bit thin in quantity was preferable to the wig. I did feel more confident in that wig, but not any more. I guess I will look for a better wig in a local salon.
That said, it is the voice that is my problem. I have the “Fundamentals Of Your Feminine Voice” 1 and 2, that I purchased at SCC and I can speak in that A2 (220 HZ) note, but I still have so much mail resonance. Not to mention that I find it hard to speak fast enough and vary the pi ch the way women do. I do hope that someday you can do something for those of us that still sound way to male when we speak.
I say your presentation at this years SCC. I really enjoined it. How did the video turn out. That part was fun to watch too.
Hugs,
Vickie
joanie
November 20, 2006 @ 12:17 amSince purchasing your dvds, I had reinvented myself and learn new things I would have never learned anywhere else. Thanks for making me a better woman and hope other women will take your advice and purchase your tapes.
Renee
December 30, 2006 @ 7:46 amVoice is the toughest hurdle that you will have to conquer in your quest to be taken seriously as a female. Whether you are full time or you just dress on the weekends, you can have everything else down pat, and without the a true feminized voice, you will not be taken seriously as a female, and you will be put in the “guy in a dress” status. They say that looks are only skin deep and this holds true when it comes to the transformation process. Without a truly feminine voice, all your hard work goes down the drain.
You ask then, how do I get the voice aspect down. Do I use a falsetto, or how does my voice sound to others when I speak. I have been through the process and once you master the voice, you complete the feminine package and no one suspects anything. If you have perfected the other parts of the feminine appearance, makeup, mannerisms and movement, then with the voice added, you can be at point blank range and not have a real GG even tell the difference. You will find that your whole world opens up when you have all the feminine attributes down, and most important of all, the voice aspect. Your confidence level is at an all time high and there is not a worry in the world.
How then do I get a feminine voice then, you ask. I must tell you that it is very hard work and you need to stay the course and through practice you will find and perfect your feminine voice. You also must use a voice program to visually see and hear what your feminine or male voice looks like. The great thing about these programs is that they are brutally honest and will not lie to you. IF you are not in the feminine range, then it is not feminine. If the resonance is not where it should be, then it does not sound feminine. I know, you’re thinking this is too hard for me to do. If you want to be taken seriously, then you have to work hard on your voice. Trust me, after the initial workout, you will find it easier every day after that .
I have a very low voice and thought that I would never be able to perfect a female voice. I was wrong. When you get the software program that Denae recommends, you will see what I mean. It is the best 50 dollars that I have ever spent. Most people tell you to just speak softer, but with this program, it shows and tells you where you are. It talks about pitch, but if you don’t know anything about music at all, just look at the visual results and you will SEE where you are, so non music majors don’t need to be frightened off. My pitch range is at 130 to 140 in guy mode. I need to make the jump up to 190 to 230 to be considered in the feminine range. This is quite a jump and you would say, it’s too hard, I’m not going to do it. It can be done though. Along with getting into the feminine range, you also have to sound softer and your voice has to be able to move all over the spectrum as genetic females do on a daily basis. Your sentences need to end on an up note, kind of like asking a question. Listen to the GG’s out there, they do it all the time, where guys also finish on a down note. All this is accomplished by using the vocal chord that you gave up when you passed puberty. The chord is still there, but you just have to be able to find and strengthen it. This is the chord that you need for your feminine voice.
Hold your finger on your Adams apple and swallow. Feel the Adams apple go away. Feel the almost gagging sensation in the back of your throat, almost as if you were gargling in the morning, this is the chord and the sensation that you need to feel when you are on your feminine vocal chord. Another way to get there is to lay your tongue flat and gently pull it back (in the flat position) towards the back of your throat. You will fell a sensation of almost gagging, or it will feel like your throat is opening up. Try talking now and you will see that your voice sounds less resonant and raspy, and it will be at a higher pitch then your guy voice. You have found the female vocal chord. Try practicing, without speaking, the movement of jumping from your male chord to your female chord. Do this on a daily basis and you will strengthen the female chord so that you can carry on lengthy discussions with your new voice.
Also, you need to learn how to breathe differently. Breathe from your diaphragm. How do I get there? Take a deep breath and push it out through your abdominal muscles. This way you can control your breathing and your sound will become even more feminine. This is what singers do. It allows them total control of their breathing and they can hold notes for ever. When you get this down, you will find that it helps with your voice immensely.
By now, you are probably saying that it is way too much work for me. Aren’t the finer things in life worth the work. If you are intent on being full time, or passing in public on the weekend, then you need to put in the work and perfect your voice. If you ever want to shop, dine or talk in public while dressed, then you have to have the voice. Women go through a regiment to look and sound good. If you don’t buy into the feminine culture, then how do you expect to be taken seriously as a feminine women?
Here are the steps you need to take to perfect your voice. Contact Denae and ask her for the name of her voice program. Listen to what Denae will tell you during your consultation on voice, and practice, practice, practice. Rely on your software to view where your voice is, and mentally hear your feminine voice that the software has told you that you have. Your voice will come and you will be amazed at how it sounds to you and anyone in public that you come in contact with. Start by talking in your new voice and checking the software. Do this at least 10 minutes a day at first and then after about a week, move it up to 20 minutes. Look and listen to what the voice software is telling you, it doesn’t lie. Listen to what your voice sounds like in your head and capture that sound. This will allow you to retrieve your feminine voice at will, when needed. After a lot of practice, you will know when it sound right. Make phone calls to department stores and talk to the women’s department and ask questions about clothing and cosmetics. Read a book in your new voice, or read street signs as you go down the road during the day. Practice and I assure you that it will come….. but it has to be full time, dedicated practice, not just part time, in order to perfect your voice. The more that you practice, the better your voice will sound. The more you practice, the greater confidence you will have in your voice. If you are like me, I started with a low male voice, then went to a falsetto voice, and then after some hard work, found my feminine voice. At first, I couldn’t hear my feminine voice, because I was still hearing my male voice in my mind. By purchasing the software that Denae recommended, it didn’t matter what I though my voice sounded like, because the software does not lie, and it tells you if your voice is feminine or not by the range that you are in.
I hope this helps you gals out there. Trust me, it can be done, but you can’t short cut it to get there. In life, you achieve what you want through determination, passion and drive. If you want a feminine voice, you can have a beautiful feminine voice, even without surgery….. I know this to be true, because I have not had surgery. The way you get there is through believing in yourself and having the passion, drive and determination to meet your goal. Good luck to you all.
Renee